I only wanted to have fun
Learning to fly, learning to run
I let my heart decide the way
When I was young
Deep down I must have always known
That this would be inevitable
To earn my stripes I'd have to pay and bare my soul


I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes I just feel it's only me
Who can't stand the reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends, I miss my mother
I miss it when life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago


When I walk around all of the streets
Where I grew up and found my feet
They can't look me in the eye
It's like they're scared of me
I try to think of things to say
Like a joke or a memory
But they don't recognize me now in the light of day


I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes I just feel it's only me
Who never became who they thought they'd be
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends, I miss my mother
I miss it when life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago
A million years ago

اینکه نمیام و زیاد نمی نویسم دلیلش اینه رفتم تو خودم. لال شدم. نمیخوام حرف بزنم. از حس های متناقضی که دارم. از اینکه نشد یکی از آرزوهای به عمل رسیده ام رو تداوم ببخشم اون هم بخاطر حساسیت روحی بیش از حدی که دارم و کلی پول هدر دادم.  از ترس های پنهانی که در تار و پودم هست. از سه شب تا صبح فقط اشک ریختن و آخرش هم تسلیم شدن.  

 نمیخوام تلخ باشم و تلخ بنویسم. تو این وانفسا تنها چیزی که کمکم میکنه کمی خوندن هست. کتاب یا وبلاگ فرق نمیکنه. فقط اون موقع است که از این حال و هوا جدا میشم. برای همین دلم میخواد خوب بنویسم.  پس نمی نویسم چون خوب نیستم و نمیتونم خوب فکر کنم و بنویسم. 

زمان میخوام.